How To Tell If Your Intimate Partner Is Capable Of Or Likely To Kill You

By: David J. Glass

One of the more common indicators that your mate is capable of or likely to kill you is that the person, initially, appears too good to be true. Your partner may act very committed and very interested in you. They often will attempt to accelerate your relationship – rushing you into an engagement or marriage.

But once they are married or living with you, they are likely to systematically separate you from your family members and friends – all while telling you that you don’t need them, because he/she can take care of all your needs.

They will likely have a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse.

They will start acting abusive to you soon after you are married or living together. They will typically start by calling you names, or criticizing your methods, or putting you down in general. Later, they will begin to physically assault you, but typically it will be in ways that don’t leave bruises or marks where others can see them.

There also will be some form of sexual violence or sexual coercion. And alternatively, if the perpetrator is unable to sexually perform, they will likely place all of the blame on you for his/her inability to perform.

The person will be extremely controlling, not letting you have any level of privacy regarding your communications, who you are spending time with, or even who you talk to on the phone. That controlling nature may even extend to having you tracked, either by actual stalking (following you around) or by cyberstalking (with airpods and the like). Even hiring a private eye to journal your every move.

Having a gun in the house is the number one predictor of intimate partner homicide.

Ultimately, the perpetrator’s perception that their control will be challenged or changed is usually the “trigger” for their extreme abuse or homicidal behavior. Time and time again, we hear stories where the victim ultimately threatens to throw the perpetrator out, or call in help from family or friends – and it pushes the abuser “over the line.”

Look for the red flags. They all have some kind of “control” indicator. If your mate displays any of the behaviors I mentioned, seek help.