Are You the Victim, the Perpetrator, or Both? How Parental Alienation Damages Children and What You Can Do to Stop It
As part of the intended purpose of The HourGLASS Podcast, host David Glass has also launched his blog, LookingGLASS. Through a series of informative and insightful blog entries, Glass guides readers through the breakup and divorce process by offering tips, suggestions, and practical advice on preparing for, getting through, and recharging one's life post-divorce.
Topics Glass covers include parental alienation syndrome, domestic violence, red flags that may indicate an intimate partner could become lethal, gray divorce, divorce filing, spousal support, uncovering an ex's hidden assets, division of community property, child and pet custody, prenuptial agreements, trial preparation, and how to blend families, among many others.
Each article takes approximately 5–10 minutes to read. Don't miss an entry. Glass has something for everyone, with new posts published monthly on the second Saturday.
DIVORCED PARENTS AND PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME
Are you the Victim or the Perpetrator—or Both? Pitting one parent against the other is poor judgment and will come back to haunt either or both parties long after the kids leave home.
Top five ways to avoid falling into the Parental Alienation "trap":
- Stay calm and consistent: If your child brings up false, negative comments about you, which were likely influenced by your ex-, avoid reacting with anger. Getting angry at the child will only be used to reinforce the false narrative about you. You must continue to show up with love and consistency for your child, no matter what.
- Avoid negative comments about the other parent: As hard as it may seem, you cannot badmouth the other parent in front of your child – even if it is being done to you.
- Encourage a healthy relationship with both parents: Even if you feel angry, disappointed, or sad about the other parent, only provide encouragement for the child to develop their own relationship with your ex.
- Keep your communication with your child gentle: if you are confronted with negative and false statements by your child, you can say something like "That's an adult issue. Just know I will always be there for you."
- Rebuild trust with your child: Focus on small, positive interactions with your child that show you are reliable and caring. Don't pressure your child to be affectionate or even to open up. Give them as much time as they need. The only way to disprove your ex's commentary or narrative is to show the child, over and over again, that you are not what you are being described as. Show them; don't tell them.
Listen to Host Glass's Season 8 Episode 1 with Victor Dohleman, a classic victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Watch the Full Episode